Have you stood on the edge of a surface (deck, rock, boat, etc.) and hesitated to jump into the water due to the fear of it being cold? However, once you finally jump in you realize that it actually kind of feels good!?
We all have stories where emotions have kept us from making decisions, but when we mov forward it turns out to be a good thing! During the "Great Recession" Carla had to short sell two homes. It wasn't fun, but she learned a lot and came out of it just fine.
Don't cling to your fears...get the help you need.
1. Be aware of fear in your life. Before you can overcome fear, you have to admit that you have it. Perhaps for some fear is our “normal” state of being. Write down some aspects of your life where have fear; getting them down on paper is important, because trying to simply think them through never works.
-Try this activity: Imagine you are talking to another person and they have the same fears and thoughts as you. You are trying to help them. What would you say?
Most people are much harder on themselves than others so this activity helps you to think objectively.
2. Look at fear objectively. Take an interest in investigating your fears. Ask yourself about what thoughts generate your fear, where you feel the fear in your body, and how you react to it. Try to be an objective observer of your own life.
3. Plan. Put together a plan of action. This goes back to writing it down, looking at things objectively and then setting goals and putting together a plan to achieve the goals. For us Fred Mannila really emphasizes having a business plan in place.
6. Share. What you are learning, and your goals. It’s natural to hold the negative in because we are afraid of how others might react? And Afraid we will fail. Sharing helps, because you will realize that many people feel the same way as you do, and have stories to share as well. Do you have a fear of success, or a fear of failure? Sharing with someone can help you examine what you truly want from life, and where your fears come from.
7. Embrace struggle. Most of us instinctively avoid struggle, because it feels like failure, and that scares us, but the term “no pain, no gain” holds true. To develop our skills, it is a necessity that we struggle, so we can get stronger and better at what we want to do, so simply embrace it. Once we struggle, fear slowly disintegrates.
8. Use visualization. Imagine yourself in an opposite situation. The situation you don’t want to be in. Watch people do things fearlessly that would normally freak you out. Visualize yourself as that person. Create a very clear picture of fearlessness in your mind.
9. Put things in perspective. Putting your negative thoughts in perspective is a huge way to overcome fear. In the grand scheme of life, why are you afraid? While you are freaking out about something, life is moving on without you. Sometimes it’s helpful to remember this.
10. Release control. Of course we want to be in control, but when we relinquish it we tend to free ourselves up. Allow yourself to make mistakes—after all, that’s where learning and growth really happens. We learn from our failures, but to fail we need to release control.
11. Think about the worst case scenario. What’s the worst that could happen? I have crumbled on stage in front of hundreds of people. My wife still loved me; I lived. Life goes on.
12. Adopt a mindset of gratitude. Whenever you feel fear, try to feel grateful instead. I have been performing a lot of solos recently, and it is scary! Instead of freaking out, I have decided to be grateful for the opportunity to communicate musically with so many people, and I know that they are there to genuinely listen to me play and root me on.
14. Look within. What is the root of your fear? Meditate on it. Look inside and ask yourself when the fear started: How far back does your fear go? Did you have an early failure that has stuck with you? Explore it. That’s what life is all about.
Overcoming fear requires a growth mindset; an attitude that we can grow and change if we choose. Nothing is “locked in” forever; we can change. It takes time and practice. Hopefully the tips above will help you begin your journey to conquer fear.